i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
