At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
