He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
