I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i came on her dog
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
