I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
