I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
