it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
