thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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