i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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