I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
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In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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