P.S. I can't hear my feet
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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