Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The best revenge is premature balding
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
