drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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