tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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