She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize