do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
