i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
