I wanna bring you to show and tell
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
