The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize