i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
