i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Shame - the story of my life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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