It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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