oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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