i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
