i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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