I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize