My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
