just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
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Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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