Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
