I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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