I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
