What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
