We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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