btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
