sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
