So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
