he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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