He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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