it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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