It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All the doctor said was why
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
