Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
