I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
