hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
