Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
