You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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