It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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