So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
