Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
