do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
