So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Actions speak louder than pants.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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