i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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