Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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