I need help removing her.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
