there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
