I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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