someone threw a dead crab at me
I cockslap morals
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
